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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23447560">Happenstances in a Whorehouse</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishcrow/pseuds/fishcrow'>fishcrow</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Asexual Alastor, Kinky Bottom Edition [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Relationship, Accidental Sex, Aftercare, Anal Sex, Anonymous Sex, Asexual Character, Barbed Penis, Blood, Brothels, Consensual Kink, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Humiliation, Inflation, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multiple Orgasms, Multiple Partners, No Lube, Painful Sex, Painplay, Public Humiliation, Public Sex, RadioHusk Week, Rimming, Shower Sex, Smut, Stranger Sex, Watersports, Wet &amp; Messy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:54:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23447560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishcrow/pseuds/fishcrow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alastor's out on the town, looking to satisfy the odd little itch.</p><p>Husk stumbles into him. Literally.</p><p>[A fun little fluffy kink fic for all the RadioHusk lovers out there xoxo]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alastor/Husk (Hazbin Hotel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Asexual Alastor, Kinky Bottom Edition [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1562290</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>157</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Happenstances in a Whorehouse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm not welcome in the Radiohusk server, but I saw it was Radiohusk week-- so I polished this up for you guys with lots of love uvu &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3</p><p>Oh my god please read the tags though, this is the LEAST sensible fanfic I've ever written and if you've read "The Hunter and his Dear Houseguest" you'd probably be scared right now hahahahahahaha</p><p>As always, Alastor is asexual-- but in this fic he has a raging libido.</p><p>ENJOY!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Husk stumbled out of a bar in the ass-end of nowhere. In such a sleazy corner of the city (a kaleidoscope of partially-eradicated buildings tucked under the shadow of a crumbling highway), it wasn't worth running a risk of being thrown out the back-door, blackout drunk, into the middle of a drug deal, execution, or worse.
</p><p>The cat swayed badly, but stayed upright enough. He'd make it back to the Hazbin before the blood-red sky of night brightened to the pastel red of day... if he didn't get too distracted. But in such a haven of debauchery-- even for Hell-- Husk didn’t stand much of a chance.
</p><p>“Consenting, Anonymous Fuck Slaves," Husk read, etched onto a glass window of a once-upon-a-time corner shop. His dick started waking from his sheath before his alcohol-addled brain caught up to the implication of those words. He blushed deeply under his fur.
</p><p>Cunts <i>wanting</i> to be fucked by random, lowlife demons on the street? 
</p><p>Husk considered the catch, but he settled for a chance to wet his pecker. After getting himself blacklisted from all the local brothels in his first year of death, he wasn’t in any position to snub an easy (albeit dodgy) fuck.
</p><p>Husk sauntered through a broken window into the small, dusty room with nothing but a reception desk and a shabby curtain to its right. "Tip Your Slut," a sign read in front of a dirty, empty jar on the counter. A decrepit old demon manned the desk.
</p><p><i>So far, so good,</i> Husk thought to himself.
</p><p>"How much?" He asked the old fuck at the desk.
</p><p>"Depends on the kinda bitch you're lookin’ for."
</p><p>Husk paused for a moment.
</p><p>"Are there any... men?"
</p><p>The demon gave a toothless smile.
</p><p>"Tonight, actually, more selection than usual." He winked.
</p><p>"How much?" Husk asked again, almost starting to pant.
</p><p>The old demon leaned back.
</p><p>"Ya’ charged by the minute."
</p><p>Husk stepped up to the desk and hastily emptied everything left in his hat onto the counter.
</p><p>The old, crusty demon took a long muse at the offering as Husk's drunken agitation grew.
</p><p>"Okay. Seventeen minutes," he finally nodded.
</p><p>Husk scurried behind the curtain, not knowing exactly what to expect. The heat of the room immediately rose to his head, and the smell of sex would have given him a headache-- if he didn’t already have one. Butts and legs of all sorts hung out of holes cut into thin, make-shift walls along a narrow hallway. Husk breathed through his mouth, pointedly ignoring cum-ed up cunts as he made his way down the hall. He ducked under the long legs of an imp getting brutally fucked by another low-life like himself, and privately hoped “consensual” wasn’t just some false advertisement. A couple empty whores begged for cock as he passed them, relaxing his fears. At the end of the hall, he eyed a couple suspicious-looking glory-holes before turning the corner into a much roomier space. More backends hung around each wall, in various states of use. 
</p><p>Husk’ gaze immediately settled on some long, thin grey cloven legs with a little red and black tail soothed over the ass.
</p><p><i>That beauty looks a little lonely,</i> Husk’s drunken mind suggested.
</p><p>Of course the color scheme was unnervingly familiar to him, but he relaxed knowing "that" particular demon wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like this-- not to mention, Husk had no clue if Alastor actually had a tail in the first place. 
</p><p>At least Husk could imagine.
</p><p>He settled up to the nice piece of ass. The tail perked up at a new arrival, exposing a bright white underside Husk couldn't help but stroke a claw though. Soft. The cute tail trembled pleasantly, sending a hot flush of pleasure to Husk’s dick.
</p><p><i>Fuck… yeah.</i> Husk swallowed the droll pooling in his mouth as he imagined Alastor bending over for him like this.
</p><p>He nudged the slut's legs open with a foot, relieved to spy a cute little erect cock and balls dangling between them. <i>Nicely groomed,</i> Husk nodded to himself.
</p><p>He next spread the deer's ass cheeks with his paws, surveying the thick cum leaking down the smooth inner thighs as he did. Husk's cock gave another very satisfied twinge: the thought of multiple other strangers finishing inside Alastor before him… it was enough to make him dizzy. As a bonus, he didn’t even need to waste time preparing the little whore. Husk quickly jerked himself twice and slid his still mostly-flaccid cock inside the soft, loose, cum-slicked ass.
</p><p>The deer gave a jolt and a high pitched little hum Husk could hear distantly through the wall. Husk shook off the instant comparison to Alastor's voice-- a lot of cunts have high voices, he reasoned.
</p><p>The deer thrust his hips back as far as he could onto Husk's soft cock before giving a clearly disappointed little huff.
</p><p>Husk had learned the hard way what a fully erect demon-cat-dick did to a partner’s internal organs-- and it never was appreciated-- so he was more than happy to softly fuck a nice ass and pull out before any harm was done.
</p><p>Alastor held his wrath. As soon as the cat had settled up, Alastor had gotten a whiff of his friend’s favorite whiskey and a familiar tickle of fur, but he was prepared to file that away as a coincidence-- alongside the suspicious flutter of a wing and uniquely soft, heart-shaped paw-pad on his ass-- until the fucking idiot had to go and start being a gentleman. 
</p><p><i>Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck, why tonight of all nights, you god damn stupid, stupid fucking cat--</i>
</p><p>It wasn’t often Alastor felt an “itch,” but when he did, it was downright insatiable. He flicked his tail violently and stamped a hoof-- hoping Husk would get the message to fuck off and stop wasting his time.
</p><p>Husk did get a message, and he slapped his deer's ass, hard. 
</p><p>Alastor jolted, moaned, and thrust back onto Husk’s hips again in reply. Husk felt his dick harden enough to suffer a few decent thrusts that had the slut stop complaining.
 
</p><p><i>This deer is a cutie,</i> Husk thought-- as he dragged his thumb-claw up from the base of the tail a few times. The pampering had Alastor’s legs trembling around Husk’s cock-- Husk had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face as he pictured his loud, obnoxious boss taking his cock so prettily. Alastor sucked a breath as a particularly nice thrust spun stars in his eyes: he bit down on a claw as he drooled, thankful no one could (or would) see his lewd expressions.
</p><p>Husk continued fucking into the the hot, spent little hole easily, keeping a steady grip on the tail for leverage. Every time he bottomed out in the younger demon, he got a very cute little twitch and whine in return. Just as he wished it didn’t have to end, he felt the tell-tale swelling in his cock add resistance to his thrusts.
</p><p>The whore must have felt it too, as Husk could hear the moans steadily growing higher until Husk was sure his cock was getting painful.
</p><p>Husk silently cursed his anatomy and pulled out. He ground his sticky member against the deer’s tail, instead, for some desperate friction. The deer loudly stomped a trembling hoof in protest. Alastor jerked his hips back, practically begging the cat to keep fucking him.
</p><p>"...More?" Husk asked, breathless.
</p><p><i>Yes! More! More!</i> Alastor wanted to yell at the infuriating cat.
</p><p>Husk ignored the urgent reservation in the back of his mind, and greedily slipped back in-- his cock not quite fully erect, but big enough to send a jolt of pain down the thin, grey legs when he bottomed out. Alastor’s body trembled happily.
</p><p><i>Oooooooohyes…</i> Alastor hooked his claws into the walls around him and thrust back as much as he could through the hole in the wall.
</p><p>Husk enjoyed the shallow little fucks, the hardening barbs catching lightly every time the deer pulled away, but Husk needed more. He pulled out, all the way, and fucked back in until the deep moans though the divider rose to the edge of a scream.
</p><p>"Too much?" He asked. Alastor’s tail, sticky and cummy from Husk’s earlier antics, flicked pathetically.
</p><p>Husk didn't speak tail, but he decided to cut it out. He dragged his swollen barbs out slowly-- which had the deer shuddering violently. As he pulled the last inch free, he watched the little deer instinctively draw his knees together cutely, as the previous stranger’s cum streamed out of his bright pink, widened hole. Husk used his tail to whip the deer’s tight balls.
</p><p>"Hhhhaaaaaass..." Was the partially muffled reply Alastor captured in his claw as he orgasmed-- his cum splattered uselessly onto the floor.
</p><p>Husk stepped back to marvel at the twitching, spent, open mess in front of him. He had no other words to describe it but… gorgeous. Husk looked down to his rock-solid erection. He knew he shouldn't, but, god damn: he’d had wet dreams of fucking Alastor too many times to pass up this golden opportunity: this was masturbation fuel that’d probably last him till the end of his death. What was the discomfort of one random doppelganger compared to that endless satisfaction?
</p><p>Alastor blinked, static dancing in his vision, as he felt Husk step back up to his ass. Husk’s strong paws man-handled his hips back into position despite Alastor feeling too weak to hold himself up. <i>No, no, no, no, no, he wouldn’t…</i> Alastor would have laughed at the absurdity of Husk actually hurting him, but then again… Husk didn’t <i>know</i> whom he was fucking. Alastor felt a slight drip of fear mix with anticipation in his stomach-- he wasn’t so sure he wanted this.
</p><p>Husk roughly pulled Alastor’s hips back towards his cock.
</p><p>As Husk’s barbs only caught one way, he easily slipped back in and bottomed out his full, hardened length into what he’d assumed the whole time to be just a lowly cumslut. Alastor’s oversensitive body clenched around Husk's cock, trying to force him out. The wonderful pressure had Husk keeling over the edge-- his barbs flared to their full intensity and buried themselves deep into the walls of Alastor’s colon. 
</p><p>"AaaaahhhhhUSK!!" Alastor screamed in pain as Husk emptied his seed into Alastor’s tight, abused hole.
</p><p>Husk might have missed it in his blissed-out state, but his drunken mind caught onto the sound, replaying it over and over in his head until he finally understood. Husk’d never sobered up so fast.
</p><p><i>Oh fuck.</i>
</p><p><i>Oh shit.</i>
</p><p><i>Ohshitohshitohshitoshit.</i>
</p><p>Husk’s immediate first thought was to run, but his barbs hooked deeply into Alastor as he tried to pull away, eliciting another terror-inducing moan and the unmistakable sound of long claws shredding cheap dry-wall.
</p><p>“A... Alastor?” He whispered: worried, terrified, and balls deep.
</p><p>The deer froze, though his tail still twitched to every movement.
</p><p>Alastor distantly wondered if he could get out of this one-- but he couldn’t shadow himself away without taking Husk’s cock with him (the pesky logic of voodoo magic).
</p><p>After a few long beats of silence, Husk found himself still breathing and the shock steadily subsided. 
</p><p>Husk smirked devilishly, hoping his tone carried his mirth. "Soo, D’ya know it was me the whole time, or do ya just scream my name for every damned bastard that busts a nut in your ass?" 
</p><p>"....I might have had... the faintest idea." Alastor responded, almost a whisper.
</p><p>"What's my tell?" Husk asked. He went back to stroking Alastor’s ass since apparently neither of them were going anywhere for awhile.
</p><p>Alastor huffed a chuckle.
</p><p>"Are there any other liquor-drenched, feathered cats I ought to know about? Besides, I'm not the youngest buck in this stable, Husk: Your biggest tell is being an absolutely shit-faced perv--"
</p><p>Husk jerked his cock and fucked back in harshly, turning Alastor's monologue into a startled cry that deafened into a low moan.
</p><p>"Husk!" Alastor tired his best to sound mortified.
</p><p>Husk tapped Alastor’s naked ass.
</p><p>"What was that about me being a pervert?"
</p><p>Alastor caught a whine in his throat and huffed indignantly.
</p><p>"Well,” Husk continued, “since I have you in one place: what the fuck are you doing in some back-yard whore house like this?"
</p><p>Alastor seemed to compose himself, his tinny radio voice protecting the last of his dignity.
</p><p>"I can get it rougher here than anywhere else I've tried," Alastor answered idly, "This is where all the sexually repressed demons go when they've been kicked out of the brothels for bruising-- or breaking-- the merchandise."
</p><p>Husk hated how closely he fit Alastor's stereotyping.
</p><p>He treated Alastor to a few more less-painful thrusts as his cock slowly deflated. Even getting soft, the barbs felt fucking amazing to Alastor-- enough to draw out some very pretty moans (to Husk’s standards, at least).
</p><p>When Husk finally pulled out, the deer babbled something unintelligibly before resorting to quiet trembling. Husk couldn’t help but notice the long trail of blood connecting the tip of his cock to alastor’s gaping, wrecked asshole.
</p><p>Husk tried to swallow but his throat went dry.
</p><p>“God, Alastor… I’m… really sorry...”
</p><p>“What’s the matter, my dear?” Alastor cooed dreamily.
</p><p>“The... blood…”
</p><p>"Husk!" Alastor laughed, "That merely means you’ve done a very good job! The best job, in fact! I’ve never had intercourse so… fucked up, to be quite honest!"
</p><p>It was rare to hear Alastor sound so sincere-- and use the word “fuck” in a sentence. Husk felt an odd satisfaction for eliciting a response like that.
</p><p>"Well, I'm not finished yet-- I'm gonna use every second I paid for."
</p><p>Alastor briefly tilted his head in confusion, but that ended with a startled gasp soon enough. Husk had spread his cheeks to lap into Alastor's sensitive, bloodied sphincter with his rough cat-tongue.
</p><p>Alastors moans almost began to sound like...
</p><p>God, was Alastor sobbing? 
</p><p>Husk could have gotten hard again at the thought, if only he'd died a little younger. He continued his lapping to the rhythm of that beautiful music. He decidedly loved the taste of Alastor's blood mixed with his (and a couple stranger's) cum. Husk absentmindedly thought about adding a new cocktail to the bar-- strawberries, cream, and whiskey.
</p><p>Besides his own drool dripping down to Alastor's balls, Husk didn't do a half bad job of cleaning Alastor up. Soon Alastor started stomping on the ground, too overstimulated. Husk didn’t pay him any notice and kept tongue-fucking the poor deer until Alastor pissed himself. Alastor gasped, embarrassed, but he didn’t punish the cat.
</p><p>“Well, that gives me an idea.” Husk said as he got back onto his feet.</p><p>Alastor blinked the tears out as they formed, wondering what other depraved acts Husk still had left to do with his body.
He got his answer when he felt a hot liquid pour into his gaping asshole, bubbling with the unmistakable sound of pissing. It stung, physically, but moreover it felt humiliating. Perfect. Alastor moaned Husk’s name once again, surprised when he felt Husk slip his flaccid cock into his loosened body-- forcibly swelling his intestines with piss.
</p><p>“You don’t have a plug or anything, do you?” Husk asked.
</p><p>Alastor instantly materialized a small little buttplug under Husk’s paw.
</p><p>Husk smiled like a child with a new toy. He didn’t waste time slipping it into Alastor as soon as he emptied his bladder.
</p><p>“Aastor, I love you.”
</p><p>“Husk...” 
</p><p>“Yeah?”
</p><p>“You’re…” 
</p><p>Alasto’s voice dropped low, 
</p><p>“...Disgusting.”
</p><p>Husk tried not to look as offended as he felt.
</p><p>“Sorry.” He said, emphasizing his tone as being clearly <strong>not</strong> sorry. Husk frustratedly wished he could fuck Alastor's soiled state to the next execution day, but his time was almost up. He stroked the dry part of Alastor’s tail lovingly.
</p><p>”Alastor, babe, I’d hate to leave ya’ like this, but... I’m all out of quarters. I hope you’re gonna be alright in here.”</p><p>Alastor breathed deeply and begged Husk to wait a moment.
</p><p>"Don’t leave, please! Would you like a lift back to the Hotel? I think I’m thoroughly done with this place for a while,” Alastor chuckled slightly.
</p><p>As much as Husk wanted to go throw up in the next alley and rub himself off again, he couldn't say no to a free ride-- so he didn't. He grabbed onto Alastor's sore hips as instructed, and the Radio Demon dematerialized them out of the whorehouse-- just as the old fucker from the front desk rounded the corner to throw Husk out of there.</p><p>As they rematerialized in Alastor’s room, Husk felt Alastor’s claws grasp his arms. The deer pulled himself upright as much as he could with his painfully full stomach and weak legs.</p><p>“Shower?” Husk asked.</p><p>Alastor nodded, and so Husk gently helped him cross the room. </p><p>When they’d finally made it to the shower, Alastor collapsed against the glass and turned to look at Husk. Husk got his first real look at Alastor, breathing harshly with tired eyes and messy red locks. Husk’s gaze lowered, placing a soft paw to Alastor’s inflated abdomen. He couldn’t help but notice Alastor’s penis erect once again. </p><p><i>I’m way too old for this,</i> Husk thought to himself.</p><p>“Alastor,” Husk said, petting his stomach, “How many other men have been inside you tonight?”</p><p>“... A few. Why?”</p><p>“Tell me about them.” Husk pressed gently into his stomach. Alastor gave a pitiful little moan.</p><p>“The… the first one I thought was enormous at the time.”</p><p>“At the time?”</p><p>“Before you.” Alastor explained.</p><p>Husk could have purred in his satisfaction.</p><p>“Go on.”</p><p>“I’d obviously prepared myself beforehand, but he <i>ruined</i> me, Husk.” </p><p>Husk could imagine. He quickly pulled out the buttplug and replaced it with his own softened cock once again. </p><p>“The next demon had two cocks to satisfy. He was so disappointed not to fit them both at once-- no matter how painfully he tried. He punished me for it, wonderfully.”</p><p>Husk kissed the back of Alastor’s neck as he started slowly fucking the piss out of him. His paw pressed Alastor’s cock to his stomach as he jerked Alastor off with an open palm.</p><p>“And the next one… the next one..” Alastor lost his train of thought as Husk brought him quickly to the edge of another release. Husk pulled out when Alastor came, letting his piss gush out of the deer in rhythm to Alastor's pulsing orgasm.</p><p>“Stop, now. Please-- no more” Alastor begged softly.</p><p>“I wasn’t going to do anything else,” Husk kissed Alastor’s shoulder, “but... it might be best to wash this all out.”</p><p>Alastor seemed to relent, moving from the wall to lean onto Husk. Husk gently lowered Alastor to the floor of the shower with him in his arms.</p><p>“Can you manage to shadow-up a douche?” Husk asked.</p><p>Alastor’s small, lazy smile twitched almost imperceptibly.</p><p>“Why, there’s already one here,” he cooed.</p><p>Husk blew harshly into Alastor’s ear, forcing a twitch.</p><p>“I’m serious.”</p><p>Alastor summoned what Husk was after with a very long sigh, but washing Alastor out was difficult to say the least-- the deer squirmed, cried softly, locked his legs, and generally made Husk feel like shit for hurting him. Husk combated Alastor’s bad behavior with soft kisses and pats. Eventually he held Alastor's legs open and gently guided him, sweating and panting, though the enema-- filling his intestines with warm water and helping Alastor push it out again (which he did twice, to Alastor’s dismay.)</p><p>When he finished, Husk was sure Alastor was fighting exhaustion. He reached over with his tail and finally turned on the hot shower water.</p><p>Alastor took a couple deep breaths, still leaning into Husk, and became partially aware of Husk beginning to clean him down with a soft lufa. When Husk brushed the sponge to his asshole, however, Alastor flinched and kicked the wall of the shower, cracking the tiled sidewall. When Alastor was free of all the soap and grime, Husk turned off the water and lifted Alastor out of the shower. The moisture dried on Alastor’s skin easily, but Husk discreetly wrapped his arms in towels before carrying the thin deer to the bed. As quietly as possibly, Husk threw the other side of the bed sheet over him and tucked him up like a cocoon. Husk then returned to the bathroom to shower himself off.<br/>
---</p><p>Alastor felt a small panic rise in his chest when he sat up on the bed alone, but the sound of running water let him know Husk wasn’t far. When Husk finally stepped out of the bathroom, as dry as he could get with Alastor’s thin towels, he billowed his wings and dropped onto Alastor's bed.
</p><p>"Oh. You're still here." Alastor deadpanned.
</p><p>Husk flicked his feathered tail.
</p><p>"Do you want me to walk out of here and pretend that bullshit earlier never happened?"
</p><p>"That would be ideal, yes," Alastor lied. “I don't <i>always</i> fancy being pulverized by a blender, thank you."
</p><p>"Well, you know where I am whenever you do,” Husk winked back.
</p><p>“Husk," Alastor widened his smile, "today was merely an accident-- a pure coincidence!-- and no grounds for any change to our working relationship.”
</p><p>“I didn’t do anything you didn’t like, did I?” Husk looked deeply into Alastor’s eyes. Alastor looked away.
</p><p>“No, but that’s not the point. If I wanted intercourse with anyone I worked with, I’d have probably asked Angel Dust when the need arose.”
</p><p>“Alastor.”
</p><p>“Hum?”
</p><p>“Please accept my formal resignation.”
</p><p>Alastor’s head whipped back to Husk with a snap. 
</p><p>“No. Fuck you.”
</p><p>Husk smiled back at Alastor with unmasked love in his eyes.
</p><p>Alastor sighed and materialized Husk under the covers with him.
</p><p>“You’re damp, and you stink, but you can stay until morning. For aftercare. If you want to.”
</p><p>“Does you mean <i>you</i> want aftercare?”
</p><p>“No. It’s merely an inconvenience,” Alastor claimed as he pulled Husk close, wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled into the cat's chest.
</p><p>Husk chucked and stroked Alastor’s hair until they fell asleep.
</p><p>//EPILOGue omg…// 
</p><p>“If you don't even know what a date is, I'm definitely categorizing those last outings as dates,” Husk said while lounging on Alastor’s bed-- which had become very common as of late.
</p><p>“They couldn't have been dates!” Alastor protested as he tangled himself to Husk’s side.
</p><p>Husk gave Alastor the dirtiest side-eye he’d ever received. Alastor felt compelled to defend himself.
 
</p><p>“The only point of a ‘date,’” Alastor began, “is to engage in gratuitous amounts of intercourse afterward. I thought you’d be pleased to just skip the formalities.” 
</p><p>“Well I’m old, and I like my formalities.”
</p><p>Alastor scoffed.
</p><p>Husk shook his head. 
</p><p>“If you wanna fuck me, Alastor, you gotta start treating me right.”
</p><p>The shocked look of incredulity on Alastor’s face would have ordinarily made Husk laugh, but he was trying to make a point.
</p><p>“Look,” he explained, “The first two or three times, fine, I get it-- we’re just friends with benefits. But, Alastor, I haven’t slept in my own bed for weeks, and we don’t even fuck most nights.” Husk shrugged off Alastor and rose from the bed. “So get dressed,” Husk threw Alastor's jacket over his naked form, “and take me out. Properly.”
</p><p>Alastor rolled his eyes, got up from the bed, and materialized a nice suit jacket with pressed trousers.
</p><p>“You’re just going to torture me over dinner until I’m desperate enough to fuck you in a public restroom, I know your game.”
</p><p>Husk wrapped his arms around his deer and kissed his nose, “Maybe,” he grinned madly.
</p><p>“I love you, too.” Alastor mumbled before materializing them both away for the night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed!!!!<br/>Not sure if it will be completed this week, but my next fic update will be... a much more realistic interpretation of Alastor's asexuality hahahaha</p></blockquote></div></div>
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